Too Much? NEVER!

My hobby, as a young adult, was collecting clowns.  Oh it began innocent (naive) & fun enough.
Bright
Cheerful
Simple with prime colors and smiles.  A few crystal clowns here, a ceramic clown there.
And then it began....

Once you begin a collection - ANY collectable thing - it becomes the easy gift.  Everyone begins to associate you with that THING.  Every gift I received was clown related.

Clown t-shirt, clown garage sale finds, clown jewlry, a crystal bell with the clacker part as a clown.
Knitted clowns.
Eggshell clowns.
Clown slippers.

Over time, my beatific clown groups became edgy, mean, leering.  It got VERY scary.  That's when I started hating clowns.

Still the clowns kept coming.
Framed prints,
(which YES! I hung on the walls.  I don't know why....guilt?)
with shifting jester eyeballs that followed me around the room & watched me sleep.   Aaack!
Those diabolical clowns really started to suck BAD!!

THEN, someone told me about "IT" or was it "THING?" You know, the scary Stephen King novel/movie (I am not a fan of the Horror genre, so I don't know which it was.) Aaack! x 2!!

I had to donate that clown collection to the Salvation Army.  I should have burned it.

I have some better hobbies now - tracing my family history, camping, hiking, photography, cooking, kayaking to name a few.

But my PASSION is dogs.  I love them.  (did you know?)


That has led to people buying & giving to me all things dog.

 I have dog statues, dog cards, dog calendars, dog books, dog prints, dog signs, dog socks, dog jewlry..... and let me tell you something.  Dogs are NOT clowns (in the literal sense) I cannot get enough.  I LOVE every single dog item I have.  The magnets, the pawprints, the paperclips, the clocks - I wouldn't trade any of it for a big chunk of gold.  I love my paw print reading glasses (in black & in brown/multi) & my doggie-themed blankets.
I cherish my doggie coffee mugs as well as my:
dog t-shirts/sweatshirts/pajama pants
dog key chains
dog bottle opener
dog wine stoppers (& paw print wine stoppers, too!)
dog christmas ornaments
dog flip flops
dog throw rugs
dog pillows
dog picture frames
dog potholders
dog dishtowels

I love them ALL!!

I have been told my eyes change when the subject of dogs comes up - I get some sort of light or fire in them.  I burble with excitement & enthusiasm.  Exuberant becomes my name!!  (I am considering Zealot for a middle name!)  Careful, if you bring up the subject of puppies, I may talk & burble so much that spittle will gather in the corners of my mouth & I might pee my pants!

I can't get enough k-9.

So if you have anthing DOG lying around that you want to get rid of, please think of me first!!
Dog is Good.

For Christmas this year I bought myself a dog embroidered barn-style jacket, a gorgeous dog-themed canvas shoulder bag & my husband bought me a ring of gold dog bones & diamonds.  Best holiday EV-UH.

FYI - My birthday is in September & I'm still looking for knitted dogs & dogs made of eggshells!!  woof.

Schmuttz

This is our front door.  Notice the
markings on the glass!

This is one of my car windows. Yes, difficult to see in,
but I do good looking out!!

Hey - know THIS:

 Dog Art on glass has been called PUP-KISSES, WOOFMARKS, 

SLOBBER MARKS, DOG SCHMEAR, SNOT KISSES &

SCHMUTTZ

No matter what you call it, it's gorgeous, right?

Not my dog, Not my car
Not my dog schmear.
(but I wouldn't mind if it was!)

  

And I LOVE LOVE LOVE my world!!!

I fully intend to memorialize each of my dogs' nose prints in a gorgeous piece of jewelry!! Each pendant will be as unique as each dog.    

 I heart my dogs' nose prints & their noses & their snot kisses & their EVERYTHING. 

The Vapors

When a blog about dogs has the title THE VAPORS, your first thoughts may be ... GAS, farts, flatulence,  break wind, stink bomb, cut the cheese, fluffer-doodle, back fire, barking spider, toot, poot, step on a duck & of course, the dog did it.

The urban dictionary has 261 words that mean to pass gas.  I will be discussing exactly NONE of them.  Honestly Eeew, gross.

Let me say this - Ms Jackeline Sparrow, pictured above, despite her gorgeous looks, had some bad, bad Boxer Gas until we switched her to California Natural dog food.  She is much better now in the smelly guster department.

She got her name after the most famous & gorgeous pirate, Jack Sparrow.  He's played by the recently single, amazingly handsome & incredibley wonderful, quirky actor, Johnny Depp.  Turns out, Jack Sparrow doesn't have an eye patch like my girl & they look nothing alike.

The slightly angry, ever wise-cracking Jack

Sparrow.  Gorgeous in his own right, but looks

nothing like my boxer girl, Jackeline Sparrow.

(he is a no eyepatch pirate)

My gorgeous girl Sparrow with her pirate's eye patch.

So so beautiful, but looks nothing like her namesake,

Jack Sparrow.

Our friend, Jim, has stated that Sparrow looks like a very famous actress, the sultry Veronica Lake.

Veronica Lake

Ms. Lake, who died in 1970, had some mental health issues, which after doing some reading, I feel was nothing more than a straightforward case of The Vapors.

the doppelganger

Simply put, the Vapors = Female Hysteria

From Wikipedia:

Women considered to be suffering from the vapors exhibited a wide array of symptoms including faintness, nervousness, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in abdomen, muscle spasm, shortness of breath, irritability, loss of appetite, and a tendency to cause trouble.

                                 My Sparrow-Monkey may well be Veronica Lake reincarnated!!

These are two Vapor-filled peas in their proverbial pods.  Now just because Sparrow no longer emits the noxious fumes she once did, she does have an occasional bout with female HYSTERIA.  As most of you know, during one of her "episodes" of nervousness, irritability & her tendency to cause trouble, she bit my ass so hard it's still healing 2 months later!

I love my Jackeline Sparrow.
I love my new, albeit deceased friend, Veronica Lake.
Ummm... I love Johnny Depp.

Methinks I feel a case of the VAPORS coming on!!